she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
