I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize