So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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