I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
