The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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