Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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