I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
