Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
