Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
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We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
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Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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