I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
