she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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