so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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