I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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