i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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