You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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