NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
