My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
