I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize