Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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