we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's never too late to be topless.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?