You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.