i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore