guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?