dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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