I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize