I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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