everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
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I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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