ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
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If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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