their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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