After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize