you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
