Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet