i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.