You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Why did my mother make you get naked?