I wanna passion pit in your ass
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.