Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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