I heard we made out
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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