is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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