So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
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Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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