Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and she was petting her beer can
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This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
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It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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