Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
