so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
