i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
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On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
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Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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