I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.