I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives