Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha