with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
