The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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