Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll