I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize