come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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