Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Randomize
