Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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