sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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