it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
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