Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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