May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
