Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
it glows. i had to have it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.