just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.